WE'VE ALL HEARD THAT A MAN'S HOME IS HIS CASTLE. I HEARD OF ONE MAN WHO CALLED HIS HOME A “TRAUMA CENTER.”

I thought that sounded horrible, but then he said, “It’s where I go to become well again.” That made more sense. You can call it what you like, but the truth is: our husbands need to come home to a place where they can be refreshed. Here are some actions we have tried to establish in the Chappell house:

PREPARE TO GREET YOUR HUSBAND

You have spent most of the day away from him, so those first few minutes when he gets home are the most crucial! How you welcome your husband seems to set the tone for the rest of the evening. First, stop what you are doing so you can greet him. Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in what I am working on that I barely give a nod of the head and a quick “Hi” when my husband walks in the door. This is easy to do when you’re busy, but resist the pattern. Give him a smile, a kiss, and a hug.

GET RID OF THE MESS

Don’t let clutter be his first encounter when he walks through the door. Clutter is confusion, and God is not the author of confusion! I know my husband cannot relax until the disorder is put back in place. So, take a few minutes before your husband arrives home to de- clutter. I try to think of it this way: I want to cover all the senses for my husband. Touch—that’s the hug and kiss. Sight—keeping the house picked up and presentable. Smell—have the house smelling clean and dinner smelling good. Taste—have dinner tasting good! Sound—put on some peaceful music and turn off the TV.

TAME THE TOTS

When our kids were little, I often found myself trying to get dinner ready while simultaneously keeping the kids from tearing up the house— sometimes it was just plain chaos! Getting dinner done earlier in the day by using a crock-pot or preparing a simple meal worked great for me and freed my time to settle down the children. I also tried to use the moments right before Dad came home as reading time. The kids enjoyed it; it relaxed all of us, and it sure impressed Daddy to see everyone quietly reading a book when he walked through the door! If I was running late and reading wasn’t an option, I would have the kids play a game—“who could see Daddy coming home first.” They would all line up at the window and watch for Dad. This was a help to me as well, for when they yelled, “Daddy’s home!” it gave me a quick minute to dry my hands and get ready to greet my husband.

PLAY PEACEFUL MUSIC

Music can soothe the soul. We see an example of this truth in the lives of Saul and David. First Samuel 16:23 says, “And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took an harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed….” William Gladstone said, “Music is one of the most forceful instruments for governing the mind and spirit of man.” Music is powerful and can really help in setting the spirit of the home. Watch your words. Allow your husband to walk through the door and catch his breath before you unleash everything that happened to you that day. Don’t just throw the kids at him and say, “Your turn!”

LISTEN LOVINGLY

Listening is a great way to be supportive of your husband. Let’s be honest, we all enjoy talking about ourselves or our ideas. But if you want to make an impact, listen as your hubby speaks about his life, his goals, and his dreams. Keep your eyes focused on him while he is talking. Remember that your listening is affirmation! Now, did this calm attitude or peaceful atmosphere take place every night at the Chappell home? I don’t think so! But I can honestly say, it is the goal for which we strive.

Two of my favorite subjects are my family and the ministry. The Lord has blessed my husband and I with four amazing children. He has also allowed us the privilege of serving Him in the full time ministry for the past 18 years (I had to triple count to believe this number- the years have flown by!) We have enjoyed serving the Lord in every stage of our marriage and I believe it just gets sweeter as the days go by.

The following are a few tips I would like to share about serving in the ministry while raising children:

Serve Together as a Family
“For we are labourers together with God…” I Corinthians 3:9

When Clark and I had Charlie (our firstborn), I remember struggling with the feeling that we wouldn’t have the liberty to serve the Lord the way we used to. Yes, there are certainly adjustments in life and ministry when the Lord blesses a family with children, but that doesn’t mean you no longer can serve the Lord faithfully. We started deputation when Charlie was 3 months old and learned quickly that it’s a blessing to serve the Lord as a family.

Looking back now, it would have been a mistake to keep our children from participating in serving Christ at a young age. This is a crucial part of their training to be faithful followers of God. Proverbs 22:6 tell us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Serving the Lord should be a natural part of life for the entire Christian family. I am often so blessed by the faithful families in our church who serve the Lord along with their children every step of the way. We serve together as a team- all of us for the glory of God!

Serve from the Heart
“Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.” Ephesians 6:6

Another important aspect of raising children while serving in the ministry is to do what we do from the heart. Our children will pick up very quickly if we do what we do because we “have to”. Our service for Christ should come out of a heart gratitude for all that He has done for us. After all- He gave His life for us, and it is our privilege to give our lives back to Him.

Serve with Rejoicing
“Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.” Psalms 32:11

While you’re serving the Lord together from the heart, don’t forget to rejoice along the way. Rejoice in the countless blessings of seeing God work in lives and realizing that God allows us the great opportunity to be a part of His plan in leading others to Him.

One last note- don’t forget to have fun along the way (can I get an amen?)! Many times we will stop on our way back from Saturday soulwinning and get the teens a treat to enjoy together. They enjoy the fellowship and who doesn’t enjoy a Slurpee on a hot day? (well, maybe you’ve grown out of liking them- but I haven’t).

Serving the Lord alongside of my family is a dream come true. I pray that my children will continue in what they have learned, and Lord willing, experience the same blessings with their families someday.